• The Kiva Center

Emotional Intelligence

Updated: Apr 3


Yesterday I posted a video explaining a great resource for looking at the revealing our emotions as we go through this uncertain time. I'm sure you can get creative with ways to use them, AND here are some ways we use them with the kids when we're normally in session:

Make your own feelings/needs cards - here is a list of the feelings we can have and the needs associated. Get creative and take pictures of the facial/body language of that feeling. Draw pictures on the cards of times you felt that.

Feelings Charades - pick a card at random from your deck. Use facial expressions and body language to get others to guess the feeling you chose.

-- Extension: Have a discussion afterwards about a time that feeling came up. Think about the story around the feeling and try to identify the need that was or was not met in that moment. Also reflect on how you would have handled it if you were aware of the need in the moment.

Feeling Art - Draw a feeling card. Remember a time in recent memory you felt that way. Draw the experience somehow incorporating the need involved. Make a book of experiences that brought up emotions with these drawings.

In the moment -- This one may be the most important right now. Practice with your kids in moments that intense emotions are percolating. If a large feeling comes through you (because remember, you're teaching by example most often) or your kids, pause, take a couple breathes, and assess the situation. Use the cards or lists to identify the feeling. This is as far as you need to go for there to be healing. There is tremendous research that shows simply naming the emotion is incredibly powerful for long-term wellbeing. If you want to go further, because feelings are not something that needs to be fixed, all emotions/feelings are valid, you can begin to assess what need is not being met. Once identified, get creative about how to meet that need, most times it's simply more communication or changing a perspective. For example, if I'm feeling angry because my need to connection is not met, maybe I just need to take action to reach out to a friend. Or, maybe I feel sad because dad yelled at me and my need for emotional safety is not met. If shared with dad, he can take the opportunity to share his own feelings about why he yelled, and it will likely have nothing to do with the child and they can begin to see that all things are not as we perceive. Play with this, practice it.

Lastly, there are infinite ways to use these feelings/needs cards in this time. Each night, I take time to look at my feelings that built up over the day and let them be, not fight them. I've found this tremendously helpful.

Links to things in the video:

Radio Show interview with Garrett

Sharla Macy and Associates - Emotion Coaching

My Meditation Teacher - Yashoda Devi Ma

So much love to you!